Office Ninja Gifts

"They say you are a great warrior."

Ambush Predators

"Remember, don't leave the shark cage."

Workaholic's Toilet

'Do you have an appointment?'

Bruce Lee with dangerous mouse.

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Trade Show Sherpas

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

Building business relations.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

The Card Flinger

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

'Ah, the Bermuda Rectangle for files.'

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter