Shopping Ninja Gifts

"Oh wait, we need to be on the 1-9 North bound escalator to get to the food court."

'Paper, plastic, pockets or purse?'

The Commandos go shopping

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Other girl's luxuries are my necessities.

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

Cut Price

'What do you do with the time you save?'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"