Shopping Network Ninja Gifts

"Any chance you could block the Home Shopping Network?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

Go team!

ACME Balloon Company.

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

Trade Show Sherpas

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Impressive resume, We'll verify it through Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr and get back to you,'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

Building business relations.

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

The Card Flinger

I've found a loophole in your loophole

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Pushed to the max by the algebra test, Tim's brain spontaneously combusted.

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"Does 14 followers on Twitter count as 'leadership experience'?"

"I hear you've got friends in high places...?"