Shopping Network Ninja T-Shirts

"Any chance you could block the Home Shopping Network?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Go team!

ACME Balloon Company.

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Trade Show Sherpas

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

Building business relations.

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

The Card Flinger

I've found a loophole in your loophole

'All right, I wanna know which one of you really like me and which ones are just networking...'

'An application won't be necessary, Sir. . . if you did it, we know about it.'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Over enthusiastic headhunter

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

Bob tried networking – and crashed it.

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

Propping up a profits chart.