Returns Ninja T-Shirts

Domestic Superheroes!!

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

ACME Balloon Company.

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

Best Seller

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

I've found a loophole in your loophole

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"The air bag sensed he was going to sleep. I love technology."

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

Propping up a profits chart.

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

"I only see the tech guru and the financial wizard. No sign of the systems ninja."

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

IRS tax instructions.

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."