Math Ninja Gifts

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

The Life of Pi

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Pi Ala Mode.

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'Simply put.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

Building business relations.

Gone Bookkeepin'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

The Forever Stamp

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.