Math Magi Gifts

"I solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze environmental issues...but being a renaissance man isn't what it used to be."

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

The Life of Pi

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

Tommy, Math quiz. It's one of his earliest pieces.

Man rotates profit chart so it shows growth not loss.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

The Forever Stamp

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

"See? Two seconds with my quantum physics app."