Maths Magician Gifts

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

STRIP Hambone: Programmers fault

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

Time Is Money

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

Calculation Board - You Are Here

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

Investing your savings

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

"Everything's gone up."

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

'For pete's sake Walter!! Enough with the tail, I can't read your writing!!'

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."