Math Magician Gifts

'Huh! If only it were that simple.'

Librarian: 'Who is putting all the Math books in the Horror section?'

'...Therefore, we're in complete compliance with all federal guidelines.'

Classrooms - 'Math' and 'Aftermath'.

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'It's not part of his research project - I think it has something to do with his time card.'

Trademarked answer in math class.

Accounting department - Number crunching.

'Johannes Kepler's uphill batle'

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Correct...Now do it again, and this time, with feeling.'

"We keep Frank around, because if there's a power failure he's the only one who can do anything."

There's supposed to be a fine line between a guess and an educated guess.

'It's a guess. I never said it was an educated guess.'

Why graphs are confusing

'That's it then - Time is money.'

'What is a fifth part of a foot?'

'The numbers aren't working.'

'Oh, Wow! You write math books? That's wonderful! Where do you get your ideas?'

"New from accounting, sir. Two and two is four again."

Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero.

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

Bureau of Rosy Statistics

"It's fuzzy math."

'I'm just calculating the probability of my getting tenure in this university.'

Number Phobia.

"We had decimals today and I think they've followed me home!"

Why should two plus two equal four?

'Did you know that a spell checker is useless on math word problems?'

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

Bad accountants

"Alright, if Outlaw A is 6 foot 2, 220 punds and Outlaw B is 6 foot 4, 245 pounds, is Town C in fact big enough for the both of em?"

'Thank you for sharing your intellectual property with the class.'

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'