Numerical Warrior Gifts

"We're not afraid of you. My date's an accountant. There's strength in numbers."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

Counting part time employees is the new math.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Staff Yearbook

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

The IRS emptied my pouch.

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

Pi fight!

Life on Earth - maths advice.

'Frankly, I'm a little concerned.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

I love maths.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

'But the short term view is very good.'

"Of course there's emotion in business. Has your heart never skipped a beat at the sight of a long string of zeros after a seven."

'How can two plus three equal five? Yesterday you said one plus four equal five.'

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."

'Getting back into the market can be stressful. I recommend a portfolio heavy on sleep-aids, tranquilizers, and antacids.'

Here We Go Again

New For Halloween! Sexy C.P.A.

'Then he smiled and his very last words were 'Now the inland revenue will never find out!''