Computer Warrior Gifts

Wringing the Monitor

"It's a new program that deploys an airbag whenever your computer crashes."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

Hello, my name is riskyy@ronny5 and I am addicted to comments boards.

"Gosh, I can't believe it's been over 25 years since our company was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the digital age!"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

I wish you kids would get off your electronics and learn a practical skill. Work with your hands! What does he think we're doing?!! Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap.

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

'Bring me another coffee would you...'

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'No, boss, this isn't a secret code. My spell check is broken and this is what my typing actually looks like.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

Computer operator welding machine.

'If someone sent an email and the National Security Agency did not spy on it, would it still be an email?'

Kevin had a computer virus.

Computer Life

Censorship.

'Sorry, Kevin. You have given an incorrect command.'

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'His debugging skills are exceptional.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

'Hurry, it's having a nervous breakdown!'

New technologies.

"I have a protein drink every day for lunch, because I never have to chew."

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

Spam.

Too many people post comments in the heat of anger. They strike while the ire is hot!

Cyberwarfare

'Due to a programming error you have been erased.'