Desktop Warrior Gifts

'I have a very neat desk but a very messy computer desktop.'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Overworked in the office

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

'Dog eat dog.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'I hate Mondays.'

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

"Miss Ross, get me a motivational speaker."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

Why am I running?

Working 9 to 5.

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'