Desk Warriors Gifts

"Your family called. When you get caught up, they'd like you to send them a proof of life."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

In basket-case.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Overworked in the office

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'I hate Mondays.'

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

'Dog eat dog.'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

"Miss Ross, get me a motivational speaker."

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.