Desk Job Warrior Gifts

'You need to relax...take some time off... enjoy yourself...be back in 10 minutes... get this report done.'

It's a big misconception. Everyone thinks hell is all fire. Actually, it's all paperwork.'

'Boss, if I've asked you once, I've asked you a thousand times -- Please don't call me at work!'

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."

Nowadays most farming was farmed out - but there was still plenty of BS.

Plumbers Paperwork

'Lou you have never gotten comfy with spreadsheets, have you?'

'You're gonna need a tow truck.'

Tired of long hours and lousy pay, Bob begins a work-to-rule campaign.

'Sir, I feel I'd achieve more if I had a chair.'

"Just a friendly reminder - looking at pictures of loved ones is limited to three minutes per day."

"Sorry, but climbing under your desk to reboot your computer doesn't count as aerobic exercise."

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

In basket-case.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Storm in the out tray

'Salaries Manager. No.'

Overworked in the office

Working hours.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

'Dog eat dog.'

'I hate Mondays.'

Commutobile

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'