Desk Job Gifts

'Why is it when you hit two keys by mistake, the one you don't want appears on the screen?'

'One moment, please.'

Department to Control Government Growth - 'We need more room.'

"What do you do to manage the stress?"

"So, do you come here often?"

"How did people waste time before computers?"

"Guess I'll spend the weekend putting that back on so I ca work it off again next week."

"You didn't eve have the decency to tell me I've been replaced?"

An infestation of middle managers...

He's started jogging to work!

Joan was failing in her attempts to curb Ken's enthusiasm for e-mail.

Foresight and Hindsight desk trays.

Desk Organizer: In and Far Out, Man.

"The photocopy machine has become self aware and is trying to kill me."

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Out and In.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

Scapegoat of the Year

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

Working 9 to 5.

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

Finger on the Z Key

"He said his screen is frozen again."