Desk Job Professionals Gifts

"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

"I wish I had a salary that disgusted people."

Sturm & Drang

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Out and In.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

Working 9 to 5.

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

Finger on the Z Key

Whack, Out of Whack.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"He said his screen is frozen again."

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

Inkwell Genie.

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'Hard day at work, dear?'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'