Desk Jobs Gifts

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'Putting into the in tray on his desk.'

"Oh, yes. You'd be surprised at how much red tape is involved in gardening these days."

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

Bureaucratic Procedures

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"The first of many cubicles..."

'He stated jogging to work.'

'What a day...it was just one hour after the next...'

'I have just initiated your computer's auto destruct countdown.'

'I want out!'

Method #43 for keeping your own In Box empty.

J.B. Oxly - Going through the motions since 1970.

Do not resuscitate.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

"Push the paper, Sean. Never pull."

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Out and In.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

Working 9 to 5.

Scapegoat of the Year

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

Inkwell Genie.