Employees In Desk Jobs Gifts

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Out and In.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

Scapegoat of the Year

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

Working 9 to 5.

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

Whack, Out of Whack.

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

Inkwell Genie.

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'Hard day at work, dear?'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'Your call may be monitored to give us a few good laughs.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'While you were out I replaced you.'

"The first of many cubicles..."

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"