Desk Worker Gifts

Walt's train of thought left at 9:05. He wasn't on it.

Finger on the Z Key

'Bob's Roofing, Bob speaking.'

'I used to be a major player around here until I was side-lined by an ethics injury.'

Ed Schumacher takes a much-needed working vacation.

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

Policeman with bleeding finger says: 'It's not fair. I got a desk job after being injured ... and now I've got a paper cut.'

Think-Thunk

"Now that your teleworking days are over, you need to relearn the art of looking busy."

"Edwin, you really should quit working in a cubicle."

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

A Nap Top Computer

"If something is done wrong enough times, it becomes right."

"I got the idea when I was blowing my leaves."

Naval Command 'Innie' and 'Outie'.

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

"Am I being downsized?"

"I just can't work out where the f*****g Swear Jar money went."

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'You told me to clean out my desk.'

'Great job! As your reward, you can have a cash bonus or go untethered for a week.'

"All this sitting and staring at my Twitter account is making me hungry!"

'You're taking this desk dining a bit too far, Thomson...'

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'I went for a walk this morning...' - 'I ran 20 miles... uphill.' - '...and I had bran flakes for breakfast.' - 'Yeah, well I ate 19 sausages, 3 melons, and a horse.' - 'I'm going for a pee.' - 'I swear I could flood this place!!'

'That's Loretta, the kids, and Jessica Simpson.'

"Looks like the days of the great explorers are over."

GRIN and BEAR IT desk nameplates.

'Apparently you haven't heard, Hawkins, about things going paperless!'

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

'No, now I'm just fighting inbox inequality."