Helpdesk Worker Gifts

'I have just initiated your computer's auto destruct countdown.'

Boy at Computer.

"I'm afraid I can't do anything meaningful about your complaint, but would you accept dozens of meaningless platitudes about how much we value you as a customer?"

"Well, if it isn't Roy Pendleton, age 51, five foot nine, 176 pounds, two kids, recently divorced... Yes, I know everything about you, Mr. Pendleton but, then, information is my business!"

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

Finger on the Z Key

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

"Hey! Get back here!"

"He said his screen is frozen again."

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Tech support...can I help you!

'Remember, Preston, all work and no play make you employed.'

"The first of many cubicles..."

'Nothing serious. I just hate my job.'

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

IN, More IN (man working at desk)

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

'Back to work, McFly! You're spending too much time on that screen saver...'

Elevator/Open Range

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

Your call is important to us...

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"I'll give you a moment."

"You know what they say...'The desk makes the man.'"

Sometimes God regretted making Fridays so awesome.

'I used to be a major player around here until I was side-lined by an ethics injury.'

You're so demanding, run it yourself!