Desk Job Veteran Gifts

'Shouldn't you be wearing pants?'

Computer Jobs

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Out and In.

Storm in the out tray

Working hours.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

Working 9 to 5.

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Man in office on saddle: 'You heard right. I just got hired as a desk jockey.'

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

Finger on the Z Key

Spam in inbox.

Information. Innuendo

"He said his screen is frozen again."

Inkwell Genie.

"Sorry for the wait, our computers are down. We have to do everything manually."

'What does L.B.W. mean?'

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

'Hard day at work, dear?'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'Remember, Preston, all work and no play make you employed.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'Be a sweetie and get me a cup of coffee!'

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"