Numbers Geek Gifts

"Now, don't overthink it."

'Unionizing is working great - production, sales, profits are way up! And our softball team is # one!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

The Life of Pi

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'Maths is fun!'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

Counting part time employees is the new math.

When Cells Divide

Gloat

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Staff Yearbook

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

"Papi, will you play build-a-model-rocket-so-we-can-calculate-acceleration-rates-and-thrust-levels-for-maximum-payload with me? Please?!"

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

An Abacus in the form of 70s Pop group ABBA

But under a different accounting convention ...

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"Yo, this should be a two."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"Mine's bigger than yours."