Numerical Wizards Gifts

"Do you want the correct answer, or do you want the feel-good-politically-correct answer?"

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Today we learned to count to one.

Calculation Board - You Are Here

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

Think Tank

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

'For pete's sake Walter!! Enough with the tail, I can't read your writing!!'

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"Don't worry about your hair, dear, I can fix it in post-production."

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

-Great little number cruncher! -But lousy table manners.

'Quantum Mechanics is one of the three great pillars supporting our understanding of the natural world.

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

Creative accounting.

"Actually, the job calls for someone who is convex."

Computer operator welding machine.

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

"Sit and stay were no problem but she's hit a wall with multivariable calculus.'

STRIP Hambone: Number cruncher

'But we just don't have the technology to carry it out.'