Calculating Wizard Gifts

'If the total is wrong, is the whole thing wrong?'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Today we learned to count to one.

Calculation Board - You Are Here

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'Upgrades? Yes, we've programmed it to excrete a few drops of water if it should lose a chess match. You know - tears.'

'Fitness guru.'

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

'For pete's sake Walter!! Enough with the tail, I can't read your writing!!'

"Have you been working out?"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

'Quantum Mechanics is one of the three great pillars supporting our understanding of the natural world.

-Great little number cruncher! -But lousy table manners.

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

Creative accounting.

'When I registered for this class, in computer programming, nobody told me that it's all about converting caffeine into computer code.'

'Here comes the 64-bit local bus.'