Calculation Wizard Gifts

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"Have you been working out?"

People think accountancy is just about numbers, but there is also the fractions, the percentages

"Who can tell me how to determine the height of the Washington Monument?"

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Math Dreams

Girl does mathematical equation. Man says 'Tut! Teenagers today and their problems ...'

'I started out as a teacher's pet, and then it kind of snowballed.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Today we learned to count to one.

Calculation Board - You Are Here

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

Counting part time employees is the new math.

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'For pete's sake Walter!! Enough with the tail, I can't read your writing!!'

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

"Where the hell's my pocket calculator?"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'Quantum Mechanics is one of the three great pillars supporting our understanding of the natural world.

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"If we crunch the numbers, it should have zero calories."

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

"Sit and stay were no problem but she's hit a wall with multivariable calculus.'

"OMG! I thought everyone knew that E=MC2."

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

'But we just don't have the technology to carry it out.'