Audit Ninja Gifts

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

IRS Audit Section

The IRS emptied my pouch.

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

You are here

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

"She's late for her stress management course."

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"I’ve got to wake up early so I’m just going to wear my clothes for tomorrow to bed."

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

Hour Glass

Kate had originally been very enthusiastic to prepare the annual global audit plan.

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

Monster under the bed.

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

Workaholic's Toilet

Work Du Soleil

"Our computers will be down for an hour, so I advise everyone to hide under their desks. The last time it was total anarchy until we were back online."

When accountants carry out dawn raids.

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

"I just knew we had something in common: me, a vulture and you, auditing Carillion."

Judge knocking at 'audits' so that 'CPA's' lose their money

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"