Grading Ninja Pillows

'Your grading scale needs to be calibrated.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"Remember Mr. Cockbundle is not just a 'customer', he is an important source of valuable and readily marketable data."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Turtling: When a child's backpack exceeds his weight"

Good Luck!

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Examiners.

"We need a better piling system."

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

Meet the People of the Internet

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

'I know I can train them to be thoughtful productive citizens if I can ever get past sit.'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

Complaining about poor grammar

"Better than Chekhov"

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'

"I'm afraid your test results aren't good. For a start, the capital of Rwanda is Kigali and you put Nairobi."

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

Examiners Nightmare.

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'