Grudge Keeper Gifts

'Remember me, George? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never be able to get a job.'

"I want you to hire that last applicant. I went to high school with him. Pay him double the usual salary. . . then fire him the day! Revenge is sweet!"

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Michael Jackson

'Plimbco Bank &Trust, Old Money Division.'

Pointing.

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"It was a mom-and-pop, but we inherited it."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'It's okay sir, I'm private Johnson.'

"I put my faith in coal. Because there’s no fuel like an old fuel."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 11.

'My name is Herbert J.Whiteside - you must fly for help immediately.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

"I'm getting too old for this..."

"We always have pizza for Easter dinner because that's what my mom gives up for Lent."

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

"He's retreated into nationalism."

'Ben, you don't know how nice it is to be hunting with you, especially after fishing with you.'

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

"The only think we'll be able to shoot at soon will be that right to roam lot..."

'If you see the congregation start to fall asleep, could you give me a little microphone feedback?'

The Christening Party

'How long did you say it was 'til trout season?'