Grudge Holder Gifts

Fred Perkins: Still waiting for Apologies from the following people...

John D Doe. The following people still owe me an apology.

'I never hold a grudge...after I get even!'

'It was March, 1842. I said, ‘Walter, you can't stay mad FOREVER!''

Know when to let it go.

"Tara would be such a great girl if she didn't have that, CHIP, on her shoulder."

"I'm going to put a fir branch on my husband's grave. He always hated fir branches."

"Yeah, we know you've got the ball. We just don't like this guy."

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

"How long are you going to do this?"

Tia Carmen's Bucket List: Telling Cousin Delia exactly where she can stick those catty remarks she made 40 years ago.

"My wife has a shocking memory. She doesn't forget anything."

'I'm sorry, Catherine, but my feelings for you have changed since you reported me for stealing cable.'

"I don't want to remember her like this. I want to remember her for the mean thing she said in 1981."

'I don't hold grudges... that's why I have lawyers.'

"If I apologize again, will you take the arrow out of your hat?"

'Not only can you pick out your own lobster, they also let you name it after either your boss or ex-spouse.'

"I told you coming to your ex-wife's wedding was a mistake."

"Nice try, but I'm still angry."

"And now, dear, I’m going to hum annoyingly and see how you like it."

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

"Oh, not much. Just sitting here sifting through an old scrapbook of past injustices and imagined slights."

"You just can't accept that I've found someone 'extra special'." Best bitter / Pale Ale / Tennants Very Very Strong Lager.

'Regrets? Not many, except for this list of individuals that I had the misfortune of hiring...'

"My family likes to set up our grudges at Thanksgiving, stew over them through December, then take our revenge at Christmas."

"I had his name spelled wrong on purpose. It will drive him mad ...forever!"

'The Bosmans' wedding announcement? Stick it on the fridge so we don't forget about it.'

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

"I really enjoyed my first day on the job, guys!"

"So there's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can think of giving up the New Year apart from your peanut collection?"