Grudges Gifts

Know when to let it go.

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

"Ted's been down in the dumps since they started giving greed a bad name."

"Nice try, but I'm still angry."

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

Employee Break Room: Eat, drink, but don't you dare be merry!

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

"Oh, not much. Just sitting here sifting through an old scrapbook of past injustices and imagined slights."

'Regrets? Not many, except for this list of individuals that I had the misfortune of hiring...'

Men resting.

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

"My family likes to set up our grudges at Thanksgiving, stew over them through December, then take our revenge at Christmas."

"I'm not saying they look anxious to leave, but they're in V-formation."

'I never hold a grudge...after I get even!'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

"And now, dear, I’m going to hum annoyingly and see how you like it."

"Death takes a personal day."

"You can't send me to bed now - now when events are breaking so fast."

"I'm going to put a fir branch on my husband's grave. He always hated fir branches."

"Oh no, the dead mouse on the threshold is not an offering! It's retaliation for my dinner being served late the night before..."

Dad says to baby, 'If you keep this up you'll go to bed right this second, in a minute.'

'I'm sorry, Catherine, but my feelings for you have changed since you reported me for stealing cable.'

'It was March, 1842. I said, ‘Walter, you can't stay mad FOREVER!''

"I had his name spelled wrong on purpose. It will drive him mad ...forever!"

'You make 23,725 little mistakes, they never let you forget it.'

Other Walks of Shame

'Dave, you've been angry at me for twenty years. Can we talk?'

"Hey, buddy, can I bum a slip."

Smoking area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addiction to ten-minute breaks.

'I don't hold grudges... that's why I have lawyers.'

'Not only can you pick out your own lobster, they also let you name it after either your boss or ex-spouse.'