Grudge Grappler Pillows

Holding a grudge.

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"God works in mysterious ways."

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Bad times to sneeze

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

"Nice try, but I'm still angry."

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

'Life's too short to hold grudges.' 'No it's not! You just need to organize your time better.'

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

"Is it me, or does the old man still look angry at us for denting his Cadillac?"

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

How's the writer's block?

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

"Oh, not much. Just sitting here sifting through an old scrapbook of past injustices and imagined slights."

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

'Regrets? Not many, except for this list of individuals that I had the misfortune of hiring...'

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

"I know I should Fuggedaboutit but I can't."

'You're not achieving the bench marks.'

"My family likes to set up our grudges at Thanksgiving, stew over them through December, then take our revenge at Christmas."

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'I never hold a grudge...after I get even!'