Conscience Wrangler T-Shirts

"I'm having an ethical dilemma. I'm trying to decide whether to have some."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Parenting Business Deals

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

Environmental Conscience

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Others' perceptions (which aren't always true)

Quiet Time

'Thanks for throwing out your ideas, Perkson, but I have to throw them out too.'

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

Parental Training Course

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

The Critic...

"I need you to line up by attention span."

'Right now my plate's full juggling school and parents.'

"I handle chatty people for him."

'Sorry, Holly!'

"Wait, you mean to tell me they sometimes catch and then don't release?"

Holding the moral high ground

"You think they all look like security risks."

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

'He never has an energy crisis.'