Law Enforcement Gifts

"I'm starting to really like the smell of cocaine."

"He's long gone, sheriff - you'll never catch him."

Sunbathing Police Officer

"They're fake. Part of the new false sense of security system."

'I had to report it. Based on your lifestyle, your heart attack was premeditated.'

'That's our head of security.'

"$100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public."

"Five Guys in Witness Protection."

"Next time you show up for a duel at high noon, remember to factor in Daylight Saving Time. I been standing here like an idiot for an hour."

'Judging by those smoke signals, they know we're here and they're not afraid of us!'

"Good cop." "Bad cop."

"I'm also a criminal, cyber criminal!"

'OK, men, you know the drill. No excessive force, unless provoked.'

'Does this outfit make my concealed weapon look big?'

"You were doing 35.001 in a 35 mile zone..."

"The number of youngsters getting involved in petty crime has gone through the roof!"

'Honest! I didn't see the signs!'

WPC requests back-up - "OK, you're doign a great job, deep down you're a lovely person and your hair is looking really nice."

Underfunded Police Dept: 'Continue to resist and I'll be forced to rub my feet on this piece of carpet and touch you.'

"Why can't newspapers run more good-news stories?"

"It's not difficult - you go 'Hi,' then 'Ho,' then the name of your horse."

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

'What did you do in the drugs war daddy'

'Yep. Rex here is the best darn drug-sniffing dog on the force.'

Download Complete.

'A guard's coming! Quick, fill in the hole!'

'You spend all your time indoors trolling people. In my day we went out doors and mugged someone.'

"That's for me to know and for you to beat out of me."

'He's working undercover to find out 'what up' with youth gangs.'

"Well Sarge, this looks like one of your classic open and shut cases."

"Damn it, Flopsy, you've cost me another bust."

'This is just a routine, sir - step out of the car and do the hokey-pokey.'

"It's easier to make 'em talk when you just cement the feet."

"Got him bang to rights. Trying to sell cocaine in pounds and ounces."

"I've heard some lame excuses in my time, but "I'm only 7" takes the cake."