Law Enforcement Gifts

"I'm starting to really like the smell of cocaine."

"He's long gone, sheriff - you'll never catch him."

Sunbathing Police Officer

"They're fake. Part of the new false sense of security system."

'I had to report it. Based on your lifestyle, your heart attack was premeditated.'

"$100 for speeding and $250 for misleading the public."

'That's our head of security.'

"Next time you show up for a duel at high noon, remember to factor in Daylight Saving Time. I been standing here like an idiot for an hour."

'Judging by those smoke signals, they know we're here and they're not afraid of us!'

"Five Guys in Witness Protection."

"Good cop." "Bad cop."

'Where ya headed, fatty?'

'OK, men, you know the drill. No excessive force, unless provoked.'

"I'm also a criminal, cyber criminal!"

Police and victim standing in empty room - 'Looks like your wife has discovered selling on ebay'.

WPC requests back-up - "OK, you're doign a great job, deep down you're a lovely person and your hair is looking really nice."

'Honest! I didn't see the signs!'

"The number of youngsters getting involved in petty crime has gone through the roof!"

'Does this outfit make my concealed weapon look big?'

Underfunded Police Dept: 'Continue to resist and I'll be forced to rub my feet on this piece of carpet and touch you.'

"Why can't newspapers run more good-news stories?"

"You were doing 35.001 in a 35 mile zone..."

'Pwllheli Vice.'

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

"It's not difficult - you go 'Hi,' then 'Ho,' then the name of your horse."

"That's for me to know and for you to beat out of me."

'A guard's coming! Quick, fill in the hole!'

'You spend all your time indoors trolling people. In my day we went out doors and mugged someone.'

'Yep. Rex here is the best darn drug-sniffing dog on the force.'

Download Complete.

'What did you do in the drugs war daddy'

"It's easier to make 'em talk when you just cement the feet."

"Either he really likes you, or you're under arrest."

"Do you have to take your work home with you?"

'You kids have it easy. When I was in college, you were beaten with a billy club.'