Officers Gifts

"Request permission for Private Butler and myself to go AWOL, Sir?"

'Why Colonel Sanders' Chicken Crossed the Road...'

'Just kidding, sargent

'Oh, I'm reasonably ambitious about my military career, sir, but I don't want to set the world on fire.'

'Captain, he want's to join up to forget.'

'Did your helmet just peep at my helmet?'

"I heard the military is downsizing, but this is #&@! ridiculous."

The Anti-Agent

Hate Platforms

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

America, are we learning anything?

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Neo-International Law

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

hard-boiled egg...

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Postwar is hell."

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol