Officers Gifts

"Request permission for Private Butler and myself to go AWOL, Sir?"

'Just kidding, sargent

'Oh, I'm reasonably ambitious about my military career, sir, but I don't want to set the world on fire.'

'Captain, he want's to join up to forget.'

'Did your helmet just peep at my helmet?'

"I heard the military is downsizing, but this is #&@! ridiculous."

The Anti-Agent

Hate Platforms

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

America, are we learning anything?

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Neo-International Law

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

hard-boiled egg...

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Postwar is hell."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

Airport Security.