Army Officer Gifts

"...international crisis, all the little flags have fallen off our map."

'No, the morning traffic doesn't bother me.'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

'Hey, most climb over, but whatever works for you.'

'Looks like someone's got some boundary issues.'

'Excellent strategy, General...Though I fear the enemy might be full size...'

'Really ? my people always say multiply and conquer.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

The most embarrassing day in the history of the Swiss army.

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...'

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

21st armored segway division.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Territorial Army -"You can't sit there, this is our table!"

'Female recruitment must be down.'

'That? Oh, I was awarded that for perfect attendance in third grade.'

'I wish you'd stop bringing your work home with you.'

War and War

'My wife gave me that one for washing the windows.'

'This one is for not leaking any military secrets.'

'So how's the diet going?'

"Introspe-e-ec-shun!"

'I enlisted because I was tired of being told what to do.'

"However, now, gentlemen, we see the frown has become a smile."

The Camp, Pt. 6

Camelflage - Soldiers with camels strapped to their backs.

'Soldier, how long have you had that camouflage in your helmet?'

"Things could be worse. He could run the company like the army."

'No kidding? You're the bluebird of mutually assured destruction deterrants?'

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

General/medals.

'All those who think we should be more Hawkish, say 'Ka-boom!''

"OK, I want you to get down and stay down."

"Soldier, you're out of uniform ..."

'But this IS my mobile home!'