Army Officer Gifts

"...international crisis, all the little flags have fallen off our map."

'No, the morning traffic doesn't bother me.'

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

'Hey, most climb over, but whatever works for you.'

'Looks like someone's got some boundary issues.'

'Really ? my people always say multiply and conquer.'

'Excellent strategy, General...Though I fear the enemy might be full size...'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

The most embarrassing day in the history of the Swiss army.

21st armored segway division.

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

'Female recruitment must be down.'

'That? Oh, I was awarded that for perfect attendance in third grade.'

'I wish you'd stop bringing your work home with you.'

Henry was hoping nobody would notice that he had lost his helmet...'

Territorial Army -"You can't sit there, this is our table!"

'Watkins you remember I said be prepared for the unexpected.'

'This one is for not leaking any military secrets.'

The Camp, Pt. 6

"Introspe-e-ec-shun!"

"OK, I want you to get down and stay down."

General/medals.

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

'Friend or foe?'

'Soldier, how long have you had that camouflage in your helmet?'

"However, now, gentlemen, we see the frown has become a smile."

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

'This one is for avoiding references to 'uneding' and 'quamire' when discussing Iraq.'

'So how's the diet going?'

'We haven't been able to locate their strike force, sir, but we did find a lost puppy...'

'All those who think we should be more Hawkish, say 'Ka-boom!''

War and War

'No kidding? You're the bluebird of mutually assured destruction deterrants?'

'At ease, soldier.'