Armed Forces Officer Gifts

Mohammed - Drone Pilot Here of Pakistan: 'So you have PTSD. You lost your Buddy. Tell me what happened.'

'Sir, if rank has it's privileges, how come they get guns, and all I have is this crummy sword?'

Neo-International Law

Servicemen.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Fighter Jet Sneeze

"Postwar is hell."

Military Medals

When laundry ruled the waves.

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

The Dubloon Stops Here

Sailor in Car.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

'Sweet! Let's break it open and see what it is!'

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'At ease, soldier.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

UNFADED GLORY

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

Happy Labour Day: While you enjoy that last long weekend of summer, remember...there are some folks who aren't taking the weekend off.