Artillery Officer Gifts

"Another miss, sir."

Really big bang

'Here's a field can opener, you may need it to cut yourself out of your tank.'

Light Artillery

Neo-International Law

Servicemen.

Fighter Jet Sneeze

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Postwar is hell."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

The Dubloon Stops Here

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Military Medals

Sailor in Car.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'At ease, soldier.'

Happy Labour Day: While you enjoy that last long weekend of summer, remember...there are some folks who aren't taking the weekend off.