Artillery Specialist Gifts

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'Sir, we're txting the enemy!'

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"He did it!"

Firearms Museum. Blunderbuss. That's funny, I always thought a "blunderbuss" was a messed-up kiss.

The Appearance of the Gatling Machine-Gun in 1864 caught the world by surprise.

Camouflage Paint.

Actualities - Dream of the inventor of the needle-gun on All Souls' Day

"What qualifies you to be a ballistics expert?"

Really big bang

"How was your day, dear?"

Stale Ostrich Egg Throwers

Footballers - Ray Parlour

'Here's a field can opener, you may need it to cut yourself out of your tank.'

'The England players couldn't stop scoring when they were practising penalties. . .But that might have been because they were practising with a goalkeeper who couldn't save them.'

"He's a lobbyist for the defense industry."

The New Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Cost of the military.

Bicyclist Leaves His Turn Signal On.

Bug bomb squad.

"Another miss, sir."

'Hold it! That's my coffee thermos.'

A soldier fills a mortar with champagne

Light Artillery

"Since the cracked down on gun licences there's some bleedin awful shots about!"

"After the Taliban captured Kabul, the immediately started the siege of Washington!"

'This suicide note you put in my pocket is just a gag, right'

'It's our latest weapon, General. It makes the enemy's clothes disappear and they die from embarrassment.'

Missile company employee gets a missile in his 'incoming' tray.

'Howitzers at dawn.'

"What qualifies you to be a ballistics expert?"

'And if you look here, you can tell it's a forgery. See? - instead of poker, the dogs are playing Gin Rummy.'

Nobody accidentally self-beheads while cleaning a machete.

"It better work - they sold it to us."

This Special Report on Cuts in U.S. Military Spending Comes Through A Grant From Vladimir Putin...