Infantry Officer Gifts

"I said it was time to send in the DRAGOONS!"

Neo-International Law

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Servicemen.

Fighter Jet Sneeze

"Postwar is hell."

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

The Dubloon Stops Here

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Military Medals

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

When laundry ruled the waves.

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Sailor in Car.

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'Sweet! Let's break it open and see what it is!'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

'I was in a camouflage unit, so this one is for Hide and Seek.'

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

Wedding disaster #27.

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"The first one is for graduating from basic training. The rest are classified."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'At ease, soldier.'

UNFADED GLORY