Infantry Member Gifts

Boys teasing a Volunteer Major

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

'...and this is the Mess.'

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

Camouflage Unit

Submariners' Eye Test.

'Yes, I'm proud to say all my kids went into boot camp as soon as they left home.'

Didn't Ask, Didn't Tell.

"You can't have it both ways, kid."

Kathleen felt she was stuck between Iraq and a heart place.

Small Ads. For Sale :- 'Navy Pram'.

"I said it was time to send in the DRAGOONS!"

A Crown of Red Poppies

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

'Hamster Swat Team.'

'My doctor tells me I have medal poisoning.'

Bombers drop pretzels

'Let me guess - You want to be a helicopter pilot?'

It's your replacement for 'Nimrod'!

"I liked the one that saluted."

"Joining the Army was great for me son; he learned a skill and gained a world of self confidence. Of course, he still won't clean his room."

'Check... weapons... maps... house-wife... clean underwear...'

'Rabbit Leader here, No, you may NOT return to base because your sock keeps botching up,'

"It's a great extra recruiting tool. Those who know they can't live up to that quickly disappear."

"Actually, after five ribbons you get one medal free."

Passages in the Life of a Volunteer