Police Gifts

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

'You're driving a stolen vehicle, you've got a dead hunter in the trunk... Whoa! And your driver's license is expired!?'

'Great News - it's not psoriasis . . . it's just an itchy trigger finger.'

'They suspect arson.'

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Come out with your fins up!'

"I didn't say, 'Simon says.'"

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

Dog in custody doing paperwork - 'Bit the wrong guy.'

'I just can't say for certain. They all look the same in those uniforms. ...All I know it that he said he kicks field goals for a living.'

'Contrary to popular belief, none of our glove compartments carry a spare donut.'

In Flagrante Delicto.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"....and I said, 'as a matter of fact, I DO have a bowling ball in my bag'."

'Oh, no -- not again!'

'Keep a look out for screaming fans...'

'You've been with the canine unit too long Ralph!'

"Your new recruit's bicycle is ready, commander."

Police car chasing van with 'How's my getaway?' sticker.

Stopped by the police.

'You're going to have to trust me on this one, okay?'

"We'd like to use one of your front windows."

'Do you have a license for that vehicle Miss?'

'Here you are, Healy. Along with your badge you get a list of the area's donut shops.'

'He's always responded well to authority.'

SWM highway patrolman in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your motorcycle.

"I realise that you're trying to impress your new employers on your first day, dear. But, this is our car!"

'Take a good look at this police sketch and try to remember if you've seen anybody who can draw better.'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'Hold it, Charlie - I think he's ready to cooperate now.'

'I knew him before he became a police dog!'

Working from Home

"108 kilometres per hour. . .that won't be cheap buddy."

"Honey, did you have to bring the whole squad to our elopement?"

"Tommy Jenkins, if you give me a ticket I'll tell everyone in pre-school that you wet the bed!"