Police Work Gifts

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'Okay! Okay! I'll talk! I'll talk! Please, just don't eat any more bacon!'

"I'm rather enjoying this." - Moth interrogation under spot light

'He'll be alright Sir, once he stops being afraid of the dark.'

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'I called them, and told them what you were going to do tomorrow! '

'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'I don't care if they do help you remember which role you're supposed to be playing. Take them off!'

Police Dog Training School: 'He's a runt, but he knows how to use a taser.'

"Dang, he flushed the evidence. Take him downtown. I'll catch up with you later. Right now I could use a drink."

'I think we need a new sketch artist.'

The disgruntled employees were brought down with tranquilizer darts, ending the worst pillow fight in recent memory.

'Watch it - I think he's a police dog in civvies.'

Embellishing the police chalk outline.

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."

Excessive Paperwork

'Man that REALLY BUGS ME when a robbery call out turns into a WILD-GOOSE chase!' (Police chasing a goose driving a car).

Police artist drawing a snarling dog while a injured cat desribes him

'Sometimes a police office has no choice but to use deadly force. Say for instance someone grabbed for your donut.'

'Motive? We're guessing jealousy.'

'Can you hang on for half an hour? We're still waiting for the reality TV crew to turn up'

'Ah, the old good cop, bad cop routine, eh!'

'I'm really sorry about you husband ma'am.'

"You're not only a shoplifter, you're someone with dreadful taste."

A smoking gun relaxing in police department evidence room.

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"Can you describe your assailant, his weapon and a funny occupation to our improv sketch artist?"

Skiers in ski masks are stopped at gunpoint

"So there’s no way to take her off desk duty?”

"Stop! Out-of-shape police!!"

"Well, right off I can tell the Feng Shui of your interrogation room is all off. The Life Area is in conflict with the Knowledge Area which creates a very powerful Alibi Area right here."

"I'm writing down the address of our website where you can go to logon and download your speeding ticket."

'I was just ringing the Police on my mobile to tell them I'd just seen someone driving using their mobile.'