Police Procedures Gifts

'Yes, it was number 4, I'm positive,'

"Very well done, Samuels. But next time, don't forget your handcuffs."

Police Feline Unit

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Come out with your fins up!'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"We found a problem with your bill. It's too low. But I'm confident we can get it into the unaffordabe range soon."

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

Exposed and imprisoned.

'We have a positive ID on the spacecraft, Mr. Ferguson. Now, if you can identify the one who abducted you, we won't keep you any longer!'

Lenny the Cadaver dog had one heck of a story to tell the boys at the k-9 training...

"Sorry, boss. . . Google also doesn't know where your missing person is. I have no idea where to look now. . ."

'I've had so many transplants, I feel like a garden nursery.'

Emma is very happy that the doctor will finally remove the growth on Daddy's nose but she's also a little sad to see it go...

Come back in, no one will laugh at you.

"I'm here to join the riot squad: you see, I have a natural ability to disperse crowds. . ."

Penguin identity parade