Police And Crime Gifts

'You're supposed to be a plain clothes policeman...!'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Come out with your fins up!'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

Police film evidence

"Careful! He knows computers."

"I knew we'd eventually catch him. He can't run and run as fast as he once did."

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

'Time machine materialises in Westminster Lord Lucan arrested'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.