Police And Crime T-Shirts

'You're supposed to be a plain clothes policeman...!'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'He just burst into my campsite, and broke my banjo!'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'Come out with your fins up!'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"Where were you between 4 and 6?"

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Don't you think you're taking this whole, 'neighbourhood watch' thing a little too serious, dear?"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Police film evidence

Totalitarian Humour

"Careful! He knows computers."

'Time machine materialises in Westminster Lord Lucan arrested'

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"