Patrol Officer Gifts

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

'True, I couldn't see my radar gun, but I still believe you were speeding.'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

"I brake for all Police Cars."

The Anti-Agent

Hate Platforms

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

America, are we learning anything?

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

hard-boiled egg...

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Airport Security.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

The Circular Logic of Fascism

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."