Patrol Officer Pillows

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

'True, I couldn't see my radar gun, but I still believe you were speeding.'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

"I brake for all Police Cars."

Hate Platforms

The Anti-Agent

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

America, are we learning anything?

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

hard-boiled egg...

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'The meek shall inherit the Earth!'

Airport Security.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Timmy had one heck of a security blanket.

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"Now that's a win."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'