Highway Patrol Officer Pillows

A man gets through the pearly gates with an E-Z Pass.

Man sees troll in Troll Booth.

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"We caught him exercising at a rest stop."

"Do you know why we pulled you over today, sir?"

"Wow. You DO own the road."

"I brake for all Police Cars."

I don't care if you were making an emergency landing. You were skidding at more than 55 MPH AND you failed to pay the toll.

'You know, Captain, flying won't be safe as long as you have to drive to the airport.'

'I know I was speeding, but I've only got 10 minutes until Cops.'

Speed Limit 55 MPH. Enforced by very fit officers.

'Hold on just a few minutes officer, you caught me in the middle of a really important call.'

Ant drunk driving tests: 'Okay, now touch your nose and walk on this line.'

'What do you mean I can't take the HOV lane? There are two of us?'

"Sir, I'm gonna need you to step out of the car and place your thumbs on this text-alizer..."

"I had you doing warp in a 65."

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

"OK, where's the extinction?"

Traffic jam monitored by aircraft.

'Maybe you had the radar screen upside down and it was a plane...'

'I'm telling you, George, with a radar detector it's impossible for the police to catch you speeding.'

I said, I don

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Please Drove Carefully.

Dog Crossing

No jay walking.

Street signs you don't want to see.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

"Careful."

Crossing the Nachos Grande

One way only.

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

Family traits.

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"