Patrolling Gifts

A bored unshaven guard sat on a chair.

'A fag end, and at the fag end of our shift! Let it lie.'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Police Feline Unit

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"I need to know who started it."

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Come out with your fins up!'

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'Your resume and interview were so bad, not only did you not get the job, I'm having you arrested as well.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'Time machine materialises in Westminster Lord Lucan arrested'

"As a rookie, I'm finding one of the hardest things to get used to is older people calling me 'sir.'"

Police film evidence

Next camera crew 5 mins

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

Police Cow!

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Information about information about information about information.

"He's an ex-police dog, so he's very law abiding."