Package Patrol Gifts

'Now you won't forget to post my parcel, dear?'

Police Feline Unit

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

Polar bear on a mountain of plastic

'My diet allows me only one muffin a day!'

Shopper sees sign: Buy one get ripped off.

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

I spy with my little eye in the sky …

'Special Delivery!'

"No, I said 'sit'."

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

"They're considering order-fulfillment as a new Olympic sport."

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

"I'm addicted to online shoppin. It's so bad that I have a hallway full of unopened parcels."

"And no matter how many times they got it redelivered they were never home to receive the package."

"Snowman 1 to snowman 3... UPS delivery complete... FedEx approaching fast... Amazon not in sight... Over!"

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

'A fag end, and at the fag end of our shift! Let it lie.'

'You talk about a clean dog!'

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, they send me stuff they know I'll like and they bill me for it."

"It says, 'To deter Porch Pirates, we've thrown your package on your roof'."

"Online shopping saves me time, so I can work more to earn more to have the money to buy more stuff online..."

"Look! It's everything we forgot we ordered online!"

"How do we know the label isn't on upside down?"

'I've joined the 'Cheque-book-of-the-Month Club!'

Poopa-Scoopa

"As a matter of fact - We do offer free shipping."

Waiting for the first day of spring is like tracking a package being delivered to your door. You know when it will be there but it's still very exciting when it actually arrives!

"Instead of ordering something every day, I ordered it all at one time. I feel less guilty that way."